S.A.D.

S.A.D. means 'seasonal affective disorder', a type of winter depression that affects half a million people every winter between September and April. Hey, at least they can explain all these problems now, listen how the SAD Association is describing it: lethargy, overeating, apathy, loss of feelings, anxiety, mood changes, vulnerability to infections and viruses...Yay! I feel half cured already :) My fellow countrymen should be able to relate to the description above. Listen on: "SAD symptoms disappear in Spring... (and) are extremely rare in those living within 30 degrees of the Equator".

By the way, i need to clarify one common misunderstanding about me. Most people seem to think that i truly am this happy-go-lucky person who is always around to make others laugh. A friend wrote me some time ago: "I'm usually happy. The funny thing is, I'm sometimes happy even when I'm sad. My sadness usually has nothing bitter about it- it's just there, and it's ok."

Me, i'm the opposite. Even when i'm happy, there is always some sadness so deep inside that you never get to the source of it. My friends - they get confused when Dr Jekyll turns into Mr Hyde and they start telling me to stop the nonsense and return to my playful self :)

Ok my dears, let's face it. Look at the design of my blog. Look at the images i use, even the poems i chose, for god's sake :) Doesn't it scream "melancholy" all over? Truth is, it's always going to be a rollercoaster with me. One day on top of the world, the next looking into the abyss.

The reason why i'm talking about it? I actually want to thank someone. Last week i did something that was hard but needed to be done. I had postponed the decision long enough, but it was inevitable to face it. So i did it and shared my news with friends who were all really nice and supportive, much like the way they always are. But it didn't make me feel any better. Finally there was one who, after hearing my story asked right away: Why? And are you ok now?

I wasn't ok. But later i was again. Thank you - you know who you are - for giving me the opportunity to explain. It meant a lot to me :) Talk to you later, got to go pack my swimsuit now.